Sportsball - You Are Now Entering the Twins Twilight Zone


Karlee Kanz



There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between wins and losses, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and a 3-2 count. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twins Twilight Zone.

It started off as a normal March day. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and the Minnesota Twins were more than likely going to lose their home opener for the 10th year in a row. I mean, it was against the Royals...they're good, you guys. The Royals are a team that actually win games (and World Series!) as of late. But it's a new year, and everyone starts with a 0-0 record. The Minnesota Twins were more than psyched to erase their 59-103 finish last year. I'm only assuming they are going send all of their memories of a record breaking shitty season into the ether, hoping for any evidence to be out of sight and out of mind for the remainder of our existence.

The Home Opener started with Minnesota's sweetheart, Dessa, having to cancel her rendition of The National Anthem accompanied by a Minnesota Orchestra brass quintet, because she felt under the weather. And speaking of the weather, the low laying clouds dampened the usual highlight of a MN Twins home opener, the super cool fly over from some bad-ass F-16s. How America can you get? FREEDOM. But alas, in Minnesota sports fashion, it was cancelled. It was as if the sports gods were readying us for another home opener loss.

And then they won. I KNOW, RIGHT?! What kind of plot twist is this!? They M Night Shyamalan'd us! Not only did they win, they kind of kicked ass. Miguel Sano showed us he still likes to hit home runs, and also showed some slight patience at the plate, drawing a bases loaded walk during the 7th inning. Finding the weaknesses of the Royals bullpen led us to a 7-1 win. Oh, but it gets better! They decided to win AGAIN, beating the Royals 9-1 two days later. And by golly, in the third and last game of the series they beat them AGAIN 5-3. I am proud to put this in print right now: The Minnesota Twins swept the Royals in their first three games of the season, at HOME. The Twins are 3-0 for the first time since 2007, and on the other side of the coin, The Royals have their first 0-3 start since 2001. And for the first time in what seems like infinity, the Twins bullpen seems pretty well rounded. Fingers crossed the injury bug doesn't bite its way through all of these guys.

I shouldn't be this excited so early in the year, but after all that is said and done, wins are wins and WE WON, YOU GUYS! So don't be a band-wagoner and cheer for your Minnesota Twins, because they sure do deserve it, even after last year.